24 and Workout

Lately, I've been extremely addicted to watching the reruns of the TV show, 24, on the internet. I originally wanted to just watch the episodes I missed during the last season. However, I soon made an unwise decision to watch the first season too. And that led to watching the second season, and third. I watched between five and six episodes every night and that was because the website only allowed 72 minutes of viewing time before I had to wait 54 minutes to watch another session. I won't reveal the website address, although it can be searched on Google. Jack Bauer is amazing, able to fight so good and to use innovative methods to torture suspects. I would be a lot better off if I had a quarter of his skills.

I also bought a book last week called "The New Rules of Lifting", which taught me all I needed to know about weight training. I realized that I had wasted my previous 5 years by "doing the machines". After I finished my first real workout on Wednesday, I realized how painful muscle building really is. But there's no turning back now. The world can look forward to another Rocky very soon.

Seaside Toilet Between Wakayama and Osaka

To your left is a seemingly regular roadside toilet, located somewhere between Wakayama and Osaka, Japan. However, upon walking inside, you'll find that it is much, much more. I've actually been there once, but it was almost 2 years ago. Why do I write about it now? Because I have this habit of daydreaming about good things from time-to-time.

I'm not sure about the women's side, but if you enter the male toilet, as you're urinating on the wall, you'll be looking at a 180 degree view of a stunning seashore. It is so stunning that I don't even have a photo of it. You really have to be there to experience it. Showing you a photo will only cheapen the experience. So if any of you plan to go to Osaka sometime soon, try not to miss this toilet. Because even though Osaka may not be as good of a tourist spot as Tokyo or Sapporo, this toilet definitely makes up for it.

And if you really arrive there, please take a photo, showing both the toilet interior and seaside view, to show to me later. To be honest, I actually forgot to take the photo ^O^ Thanks.

Dragonair Cadet Pilot Programme

A while ago, I applied to KA's programme that enables pilot wannabes to train for their license in Adelaide, Australia free-of-charge with free accomodation. It's rumored to cost $800K per person; that's why KA is so tough with the interviews, which consists of 5 stages. FIVE stages! I took the 1st stage (initial tests) on November 10, which was subdivided into 4 tests in english and math. Nothing too tricky there. And this tuesday, I went to the 2nd stage (aptitude test), which I did miserably. Only on that day did I realize that Dragonair really wants to hire pilots with absolute "brain power". I, of course, have a lot of brain power, but my power is geared towards the creative side.

I doubt that I can go on to the next stages 3, 4, and 5, which consists of lunch group interviews, medical exams, and flight grading. But... I hope I can. I really want to work in a place where, despite doing repetitive mechanical work, I can communicate with people who share the same values as me.

Power of Listening

I was just reading the South China Morning Post today. (And yes, I do read, quite a bit actually.) And I was absolutely astonished by 1 of the advertisements. It's about a workshop that claims to improve your listening skills at work or whatever, and all you have to do is pay a whooping $3200! Here are the exact words: "75% of what you hear is usually misunderstood or misinterpreted. But all that can change..." especially after you listen to the geek on the left. Personally, I don't think $3200 is too big of a deal, but spending that much to listen to this Mr. Sidney Yuen? I don't think so. Hey Mr. Creepy Smile, I don't care if you're the chairman of HBC, HSBC, or Microsoft, I just don't want to see your creepy smile.

One more thing. Due to immense pressure from the Toastmasters International community, I will soon have to take down my bilateral blog, which publishes my Toastmasters speeches. They said that overall attendance to the bi-weekly meetings will drop tenfold if outsiders can easily see my speeches online instead of coming to the meetings. So, sorry guys, just know that it wasn't my idea.

New Brother Blog

As you can see, I'm tired of hearing/saying "sister" blog all the time. Just why does it have to be so feminine? Anyways, this bilateral blog will publish my Toastmasters speeches. So if you're interested in that, you can click here. I just thought that it'll be better to have 2 side-by-side blogs instead of cramming everything into 1. Somehow, 2 seems more powerful than 1. For now, there isn't much to see over there, but I will soon add on more stuff, so stay tuned.

Skullcandy TiTAN

Well, let's see, I haven't been too active on this blog lately. So even though I don't have much to talk about, I'll write this lame entry on Skullcandy TiTAN in-ear headphones. I'm also going to write more on this blog so that scouts from magazines can "discover" me, like scouts "discover" models in a shopping mall. That's how desperate I am for a dream writing job. My current job has never satisfied me whatsoever.

So back to topic now. A while ago, I researched on some in-ear headphones because I suspected that my old ones weren't high quality enough. At first, I wanted to buy the Monster Turbine with Control Talk because the design is just SO cool. The reviews were good, the jack connection was gold-plated and L-shaped, the wires were handsomely arranged using wire organizers, and I heard that the audio quality is great, especially the bass. Unfortunately, the hefty price tag of $1480 at HMV really made me think for some time.

It made me think for so long that one day, I bought the Skullcandy TiTAN instead. I thought, what the hell, why do I need to buy the best headphone, when a not so shabby $299 one may do just fine. Considering that my old earphones were only $79, $299 is already a considerable upgrade. And, as you can see from the picture, wearing this out on the streets is already well above average amongst the iPhone earphones. The only thing that bothered me were the aluminum-braided cables because they just keep on tangling up, like koalas hugging onto each other. At one point I wanted to exchange it, but after finding out I can't, I gave in. Besides the cable, the audio quality is pretty good. The bass is good. With these earbuds, I can hear a lot more "hidden" sounds that my old Sony's could not pick up.

So, that's my review. Hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you guys next time!

Working at Disneyland

On the morning of August 22, I attended an audition for Disney character performer for the 3rd time. As shown in the picture, these are the people who dress into stuffed puppet suits, dance in the parades, sign autographs, and pose for photos with little children. For some reason, I just love Chip 'n Dale and would honorably dress up as them, even if it's just part-time. So that was my reason for being so persistent with the auditions.

This time around, I had no problems with the 100 jumping jacks and dancing routine as I avoided looking at the casting director, Russ. During the 3rd part of the audition, we had to do a mime routine. They gave us a sample story to perform without words. I remembered the advice from the online forums that in order to succeed, you need to do super exaggerated moves. I did that, and the next day, I got a call from Disney, not regarding character performer, but for Halloween Performer. I took the 2-month temporary job anyways, since I was really excited to work at Disney.

Even though I worked at Disneyland for just a little more than 6 days, I had a lot of happy memories there. It was very different from my previous employers as the environment was very relaxed and friendly. Sometimes, it didn't even feel like work at all. Sometimes, it felt like I was on vacation to Tokyo or something. Best of all, I was paid to explore Disneyland. No more $350 per visit. From that perspective, I may have saved $2100 and instead made $2640 more.

The first 2 days consisted of studying at the Disney University. All 130 of us Halloween Performers had to learn about Disney traditions, history, and how to dress up according to Disney Look attire. We often got split up into different teams every couple of hours. So to adapt well, it was essential to talk well with strangers unless you came along with a group of 11 friends.

We started rehearsing on Day 3 and that was when we were introduced to our 5 supervisors: CK, Jacky, Rene, Angie, and Irene. Rene is actually a guy who's the stage manager for our Haunted Hotel. The Haunted Hotel is 1 of the 4 designated Halloween places at Hong Kong Disneyland. As Rene was talking about the Haunted Hotel, a latecomer entered the room. She wore an orange t-shirt and her hairstyle was shaped like a ball. Her name was Miracle and she was beautiful.

The following days consisted of regular rehearsals, memorizing lines for 3 different roles in the Haunted Hotel, learning how to use the lockers, getting sized for costumes, and practicing with halloween makeup. All the while, I had friendly conversations with a lot of people, went to work together with Ellis, who lived nearby my place, back from work with someone called Eric, and talked a bit with this Miracle girl. She's a Year 1 hotel management university dropout and she really really likes to talk a lot. Basically, a near opposite of me. I still have the Chip 'n Dale card that she gave me.

Even though these 6 days were short, they were indeed sweet. And this is a good transition for me to go back into my real job and to have more meaningful communication with people in general. I will always remember these 6 days, especially with the addition of Miracle.

First Date

Two weeks ago, I met up with the online girl who I've been talking to for the past 8 months. I was super nervous. When I was waiting for her to show up, my heart pounded so hard, I thought I was having a heart attack. At that moment, I didn't know what to think or what to say if she arrived. For a while, I hoped that she won't arrive, so I can just do my duty of waiting for 45 minutes before leaving and telling myself that I at least tried.

Fortunately, she did arrive and somehow, I wasn't as nervous as before. But I was still nervous, nonetheless, as I drank 4 large glasses of water, could barely eat, and had absolutely no idea of what to say. Even the couples sitting nearby constantly stared at us. She seemed quite comfortable though, often initiating conversation. I got more comfortable towards the end, however, and managed to reveal my humorous side. But that didn't stop me from leaving my favorite umbrella behind.

I think I could have done better. I'm not sure what she's thinking though. She probably just thinks of me as a normal friend because she rejected me for a second date.

Sad City

Recently, I moved into a neighborhood known as the sad city. The reason it's called that is because the people are poor. I always hated to live here, but here I am now, and I'll have to accept it. Tonight, as I was doing pullups in the children playground, I looked up and saw bright stars in the sky. This, along with the night view, are two of the things I enjoy about this neighborhood. I guess life isn't that bad after all.

Drop-Dead Gorgeous Dance Instructor

Today, I attended an audition for Disney Character Performers. After the signup procedures, the candidates headed up to another floor for height measurement. I was happy to fit under the height requirement of Chip 'n Dale, my favorite Disney duo. Then we went into a large dance room. All the candidates stood along the edge of the room, anxious to know what's to come. A lone female was reading a book at corner of the room, not saying a word. She wore a conservative black blazer and black pants. For a minute, I thought she was actually a secretary. That all changed, when the other Disney staff came into the room. Suddenly, she stood up, faced the audience, and took off her blazer gently. She had a white tanktop, which could barely cover her perky bosoms. They were literally saying hello to the candidates. Teamed up with her gorgeous face, the visual image caused a chain reaction inside of me. My God, life is good.

Date Proposal?

On Wednesday, a woman that I've been chatting with online, asked if I was comfortable to have dinner with her. Without thinking much, I said sure, but I regret it now. I guess the major deterring factor is that her looks aren't that good. I don't want to sound shallow here, but I saw her Twitter pictures and I just can't stand her long finger nails and weird smile. I try to tell myself that the reason I'm not seeing her is because I don't want to hurt her feelings by only seeing her once. But who am I trying to fool? I know the main reason is because I don't want to see her, and gag as a result. I know I may sound shallow here, but what human can survive without breathing?

Engine

I recently watched another Japanese TV drama, called Engine, on the internet. It was after watching Good Luck!! and Pride, all by the same actor, Kimura Takuya. The TV show is about a car racer who got fired in the first 10 minutes of the first episode. He decided to go back to his old racing team to beg for a racing position. The problem is that he's already 32, presumably past the peak 20's as a racer. Despite endless persuasion by his drop-dead gorgeous ex-girlfriend to quit his dream, he continued to pursue it. He even managed to win the current team's racer, but was only offered a position of car mechanic. The story goes on, but the majority of the drama is actually about the orphanage started by his foster dad and sister. Again, there's at least 2 hot chicks in the orphanage. You just gotta watch the TV drama to know what I mean.

Paper Airplanes

As a part of my goal to learn more about aviation, I looked up a few paper airplane designs and folded the good-looking ones myself. The one at the back is the easiest to fold, looks the coolest, but doesn't fly too far (best used to impress kids). The one on the right has 2 collapse folds, doesn't look too cool, but flies the farthest (best used for competitions). The one on the left is in between.

I'll try to fold an F-15 fighter jet next time.

War Against Mars (Operation W.A.M.)

Last Wednesday, I did something very special for myself, a 2nd Toastmasters presentation. I basically took Colonel Quaritch's speech from Avatar and changed it around a bit. Here's the speech:

"All right, soldiers! You all know why you're here. We're at war with the aliens from Mars. I am General T2O of the United States Marine Corps. We've been sent here under the direct command of President Obama, ordered to rescue the Hong Kong people from the aliens. Here's the situation. 4 hours ago at 1530, the planet Mars collided with the Earth's surface. The 2 planets are now interconnected at Tai Mo Shan, 9 miles north of where I'm standing. The aliens have jumped off their planet and parachuted into Sha Tin and Tsuen Wan, killing everything in their path. So far, 9000 people have been killed. 1 hour later, the Marine Corps sent out 2800 soldiers to fight these aliens. Their weapons included 12 SA-2 Samson VTOL rotorcraft, 24 M777 towed howitzers, 48 M1A2 Abrams main battle tanks, and 192 fifty-cal machine guns. However, all the weapons are gone and all the 2800 soldiers are dead. That's how powerful our enemy is. This is a picture of the aliens we're dealing with. (Hold up picture of StarCraft lurker.) Outside this building, these aliens are waiting to kill you and to eat your brains for ice-cream dessert. As the head of security, it is my job to keep you alive. If you wish to live, you must obey my rules. W.A.M. rules. Rule number 1; you must have a leader. (Walk up to an audience member.) Stand up soldier! Congratulations, you've just been promoted to Captain. Now it is your job to lead the soldiers out into the battlefield. Sit down. (Audience member sits down.) Rule number 2; everyone needs to fight. Even women, children, or anyone who can hold up a gun is going to fight. Everyone in this room, everyone of you, are fighting for survival. That's a fact. We will fight terror with terror. We will show the aliens that they cannot and shall not take whatever they want. And the way we'll show them is by killing them. Now everyone repeat after me. We will kill the aliens! We will show them who is the boss! Oorah!"

I followed Quaritch's commanding voice and pulled through with the 5:30 minute presentation. Even I couldn't believe I did it. At first I was quite nervous, but after speaking loudly for the first couple of seconds, I was okay. I should be able to enjoy going to Toastmasters from now on, especially when I'll be doing a military speech.

Flight Attendant Interview

Yesterday, I went to an interview for flight attendants. There were more than 300 interviewees spread into 3 time slots (0915, 1000, and 1045). My god, the last time I've been surrounded with so many beautiful women was back in 2005 at Toronto BR! I was in the 1000 time slot (100+ interviewees), whether there were more groups of women was beyond me.

The first round consisted of a short video and arm reach test. You had to be able to reach 208 cm with one arm without shoes. Standing on tip toes was allowed. Only one person was disqualified in my time slot. The second round consisted of 3 parts. The first part was a 1-minute introduction of the person beside you. The second part was a small group discussion and presentation of for some stupid 5-star hotel. The third part was a large group discussion about the same lame topic.

I was knocked-out after the third part of the second round, as was 90-95% of the others. But it was all right, I talked with 4 women during the interview, 3 women while waiting for the bus, and 1 woman on the bus ride. A total of 8 pretty flight attendant wannabes and I initiated conversation with 5 them. What a record. Now if I keep that up with 2 of the women down at my clubhouse, that'll be sweet.

In My Mind

Yesterday, I made a bold move. After watching a movie with a friend, I was riding the elevator up to the podium of my apartment. When the elevator opened, I literally bumped into a female clubhouse worker, the one I had a crush on for about half a year. Her co-workers just stared at us for a couple of seconds. I just stood there too, not knowing what to say to her cool facial expression. Then she went into the elevator by herself and the door started to close. Before it could close all the way though, I stuck my forearm into the gap and the elevator jammed open. I couldn't believe I did that, but I used the momentum to walk inside and to close the door. Now it was her turn to drop her jaw. It was always tough talking with her. Knowing that this was pretty much the best chance available, I tried my best. I told her to smile more from now on if she sees me in the clubhouse because that'll make it easier for me to talk to her. I said I was attracted to her, but that I wanted to know her more too. Then she smiled and kissed me. I slid my tongue over. She didn't reject it. So I stuck it down her throat. Of course, that whole event happened in my mind.

Taking The Plunge

Almost three months of blogging and I still haven't went anywhere, with women or anything. But I have realized two important things: always have a positive mental attitude (PMA) and use the low threshold approach (LTA). What's LTA? The LTA states that you should never compare today's performance regarding women with yesterday's performance. In fact, you should state an easily achievable goal. For example, if you talked with 3 random women yesterday, don't push yourself to talk with 5 today. Not only is it too much stress, but more importantly, you'll feel bad if you can't achieve the threshold. This will lower your PMA, which will directly lower your success or confidence with women. So, whenever you approach women, don't expect anything good to come out of it, always stay positive, and be ready to take the plunge, like marines who jump out of the V-22 Osprey (pictured).

I Wanna Ride Like A Silver Dove

I've been watching another Japanese television show every Saturday night at 11pm. Aren't there a lot of those lately? It's called Good Luck!! and it shows the adventures of a new co-pilot on All Nippon Airways, the up's and down's of being a pilot on-the-job. After some research, I think I'll probably book a Trial Introductory Flight aboard the C152 for $2471. Not bad for one hour of flying experience. At least I can see if I want to pilot or be a passenger of a plane. Now, the only downside of this is that the C152 can only carry two people, the flight instructor and I. There's no room for female guests.

Never Doubt Your Ability

This is the phrase I'll chant to myself every time I approach a woman. My lack of experience in the dating department is no excuse for me to get scared anymore.

P.S. "Never doubt your ability," is a line from a love movie I watched yesterday.

Won't Go On Vicariously Again

I watched quite a bit of DVDs this week: Zombieland, The Ugly Truth, and some other Japanese television show called Operation Love. Let me talk about Zombieland first. It's a fun movie, but let me focus on the most important thing here. Emma Stone, the lead actress, was absolutely the sexiest woman I've ever seen! Her personality, reflected in her body language, was mesmerizing. Her green eyes, the twitch in her hips, and the way she bends her neck enabled her to score a perfect 10 on the sex-o-meter! It would be nice if there were women like that in Hong Kong. Sadly, there aren't, and I'll have to deal with it.

Now let me talk a bit about the first date scene in The Ugly Truth. When the man asked the waiter for some bottled water, the woman immediately insisted that he get tap water instead because it's filtered and just as clean and that he could save seven dollars. The man, obviously annoyed, insisted with the bottled water and ordered an extra Scotch on the rocks. He got so annoyed, he needed some whiskey to cool off. The woman then took out a printed copy of his online profile and said she thought he liked to drink red wine. Then she said, "Kudos to your insurance plan. Nope, it's not on your profile, but it's on your background check." The man had nothing to say, he wanted to leave on the spot but, being a gentlemen, waited a bit longer until the food arrived. He then grabbed the same waiter, handed him his credit card, and told him that if he could have his bill and car ready in 30 seconds, that he'll give him a 40 percent tip. In the next scene, the man jumped into his convertible, but the woman was right behind him. As if she hadn't been crazy enough, she accidentally spilled the ravioli over his lap. But the guy was actually the one with the last laugh as he caught her dress in his door and ripped her dress apart as he drove away. This movie shows us exactly what to avoid on a first date.

Operation Love revolves around a guy who's attending his former lover's wedding. For 14 years, he wanted to ask her out on a date but never had the courage to. But during the wedding, a ghost appeared and allowed the guy to go back in time to rectify certain key events, so that he might turn out to be the one marrying her. So far, he's traveled back seven times, sometimes being able to change things around, sometimes not. The eighth episode will show on Sunday, March 21, 2010.

Is Physical Attraction Important?

I finally saw some additional photos of the online girl and discovered that her looks aren't what I originally expected. I don't want to seem shallow, but shouldn't there be at least some physical attraction if I am to progress further? Or are all women the same and that the only determining factor for their looks is their skill with makeup? Part of me tells me to continue trying to date her in order to gain experience and confidence with women. But the other part of me tells me not to hurt her anymore than I already have. I stood her up once and argued with her thrice. I don't think a future inevitable breakup will do her any good. I'm not saying that I'll abandon all future contact with her. I'll continue having her as a good friend, it's just that the feeling might not be there anymore.

Butterflies In The Stomach?

I just sent out the SOS SMS. What is this feeling? Could it be butterflies in the stomach?

It's Great Being A Guy

I finally realized the super advantage of being a guy. It's that I can actively choose which girls to approach and how to approach. For a woman, all she can do is wait and hope that someone will fall for her. She's at a super disadvantage if her looks are below par. But even during the dating process, a man can call it off anytime, while the woman can only sit there, watching as the man leaves, not being able to initiate a phone call. That's not a good feeling, I think. Only if they're willing to bend the dating guidelines will they have a chance.

Being a man is great. Not only do you get a stick instead of a hole, but you can also actively control your destiny.

P.S. I think I know the reason why not many people are commenting on this blog. Because guys aren't comfortable letting other people know that they're looking into this topic. Well, if that's you, I just wanted to mention that you can post a comment anonymously. The reason why I want you guys to comment is because I don't have a counter on this page and I'm not sure if I have that many readers. If there aren't enough, I'll try to improve the quality of my content.

The Day Before Yesterday

On the day before yesterday, I screwed up big time on an MSN conversation with the online girl. I asked her if she's free to come out sometime this week. She said her schedule's packed. I thought that was some sort of polite rejection and knowing that I was rejected, I said that I didn't HAVE to meet her, that she looked like a hippo anyways. Then a volley of negative comments enraged. But the thing is... I still want to meet up with her. I'm not sure why, I just know. Now I'm comtemplating on an SOS SMS. Hope it'll work out.

Chinese New Tiger Year

This year, I went to "buy lean" for red pocket money as usual. There's a bit more money because one of my elder cousins got married. It made me remember once again that I'm single and never even went out on a date. But then I quickly remembered that getting a girlfriend is not for showing off, but to share feelings with. I'm confident that I can get a girlfriend soon, the question is if it'll happen this Tiger year.

Mistakes And Failure Are Good

I've been talking with the online girl up til now. Yesterday, I tried asking her for a second photo and she sort of freaked out, calling me a creep and other names. I was shocked, not to mention hurt, from the accusation. Finally I realized that she was afraid I'll use her photos to setup a fake account in those adult porn personals. Guess she still doesn't trust me that much. So I told her to be honest with me in the future about her concerns, because unlike women, I'm not a mind-reader. Then we continued talking about karaoke and stuff and she said she'll be looking forward to hear me sing. Man, after not singing for almost two years, I'll have to catch up quick!

This girl, I think I'm starting to care a little about her, even though she's so serious and not too funny. Last time, she told me that she was a Taurus. Although I'm not really into this kinda weird horoscope stuff, I tried looking for a horoscope book, only to be disappointed by the low stock volume of the small bookstore. Then I went home and searched for it on Wikipedia. What I'm trying to say is that she causes me to do things that I won't normally do. She makes me want to be a better person. And I guess that's a major part of what girlfriends are for. Girlfriends aren't used for showing off to people like trophies and pendants. They're there for us to share feelings with. They may leave us someday for some legitimate reason and if that happens to me, I'll be heartbroken. But that's actually a good thing.

And that's because mistakes and failures are good. They're not bad. Who said they're bad? You guessed it, our mind said it's bad. Well, think again. Imagine someone who never makes a single mistake. Yeah, there's no doubt he feels happy. But the fact that he doesn't make mistakes means he can never learn from them. And how can you improve when you never learn? He'll stay at the same level all along, while other people (who make mistakes) will learn and improve to surpass his level. So whoever said that mistakes are bad can shove it up his urinatory tract.

Oh yes, I continued talking with female strangers as always. The last one was just this afternoon, where I started talking from the elevator all the way until we parted outside the MTR station. We attended the same seminar and from her previous words with the instructor, I made a false judgement that she's too professional and picky. But as I started talking with her in the elevator, I found that she was actually pretty friendly. So for those who're planning to talk with female strangers, talk to all of them, except for smokers (5%) and really really super ugly ones (<1%). P.S. Due to a situation at home, I'll need to make more money. My preferred way is to work harder on my novel, writing 5000 words a week. I seriously hope I can achieve this. It beats having to grow old with my current job.

Back On Good Terms

After a couple days of thinking and talking with friends, I realized how much of a jerk I had always been. I always only thought of myself and forgot to care about the feelings of others. For this online date, I asked her out on the third day of MSN, then I made up a lame excuse to cancel the date, then I said we should be friends, then I accused that she was a scam and asked her out again to see if she's just an ugly fat guy. If she's really a woman, which I'm pretty sure of, then she should be pretty hurt.

Realizing this, I apologized to her the following day. I admitted on being a jerk, just like now. Even though she said she wasn't mad, I knew she was and probably cried over it (or not). It's a good thing, apologizing, because it made her feel better, and somehow I feel better too. Even though this may not work out, at least I got a new friend.

Yesterday, I watched the DVD of Bruce Willis's Surrogates. That movie was pretty disturbing, talking about the future world where almost everyone operates a mechanical version of themselves (surrogates) to interact with other surrogates. And because of this technology, everyone made their appearances perfect (ex. Tom Cruise faces, DD-cup breasts, 10-inch penises). Yes, they could "feel" through their machines too. Sick, isn't it?

It made me think about how much people tend to their appearances, when it's really the mind and spirit that counts. Actually, even now, we're imitating surrogates by wearing clothes and styling our hair. For women, they put on makeup too, some noticeably wearing masks. What's up with this world? We should throw all our clothes away, which may or may not lead to more "street-style" sex lives.

Defenseless

I just had a good conversation with my online date. She said that I'm over-protective, unopen with my feelings, disrespectful towards people, over-demanding with people, and a loner with few friends. Whoa, that really blew all my armor away. I feel so vulnerable, I still feel the chills now. But that's good, at least I know what's wrong with me. I guess what she really wanted to say was that I have a fear of intimacy. Actually, I'm glad I didn't go out with her on Monday because it would just be an awkward dinner. At least now, after being shouted at, I know where my weakness is and where to improve.

Back Out

I backed out from the online date just now because I wasn't sure if she was a scam or not. I don't think it's usual for women to come out and meet a stranger after three days of MSN. Also, I just called her cellphone number that she gave me but she didn't answer. Then afterwards she called me with another number. Isn't that strange? Maybe she works for some triad organization who'll kidnap me and ask my family for ransom money. I think it's better to take it slowly by having two weeks of phone calls. In the meantime, I'll continue meeting strangers in the real world, as they're usually safer.

It's Been A While...

A couple of days ago, I started talking with a woman. Yesterday, I asked her out on a date and she said yes. We'll be meeting on Monday, which is TWO goddamned days later! I'm having freakin' panic attacks now and this'll extend for two whole days. Damn, I blanked out just now, not knowing what to write about. I hope this won't happen too much during the date. Calm down, calm down, I just need to be my best self, I just need to be my best self. As long as I don't ask her about her job, hobbies, and family tree, I should be fine.

Talking Is All Around

I've lost count of the number of strangers I've talked with during the last couple of days, but I estimate the number to be between 10 and 15. Some of the conversations are really short, while others are longer. Most of them are still males though, so that's the bad news. But the good news is that attractive women occasionally come to talk with me first.

This is an example from yesterday: I was walking as usual and three women, with baggages, were lost. I smiled a little at them and then the most attractive one asked me for directions. If I hadn't smiled or actively asked them if they were lost, I probably wouldn't get the chance to talk with them.

So far, it's still difficult for me to grab the opportunity to talk with women. However, when I see men in sticky situations (e.g. still sleeping on the last subway station of the train ride), I will talk to them briefly (e.g. wake them up before the train traps them and goes into repair). I believe all this active talking with strangers (including men) will lead to somewhere. At least next time when I see an attractive woman, I'll have a higher probability of approaching her.

As for the progress of my novel, I currently wrote 31120 words for my first draft. I'm not done yet. The final draft will have to be between 80000 and 100000 words if it is to be published.

P.S. Some women or people are quite difficult to talk with. I'm not saying that they're rude, quite the opposite. They're very friendly, but it seems like the conversations are forced and don't link up like a chain. However, I can tell there are some who use subtle tactics to make you feel at ease and to make lots of conversational topics pop up in your mind. I'm still trying to acquire that skill from Neil Strauss (the world's #1 PUA).

Risk-Taking

I've been told a couple times that I'm boring. The first time was in high school and the last time was less than two weeks ago. I used to get quite angry and sad because I thought they were attacking me personally. But I've read a book a couple days ago that talked about the things a man should do before he dies and I realized what I've been missing all this time: taking risks. I've been living in the safe region for a long time, but now I've compiled a list of things that I really want to do:

1. Participate in a wargame.
2. Make a funny pose in a photo-shoot.
3. Ride a real rollercoaster.
4. Watch the sunrise with someone I love and have sex afterwards.
5. Have sex in the park, in the public washroom, on the hood of a stranger's car, on the rooftop under the stars, on the ferris wheel, and on the plane.
6. Ride on a steam train.
7. Ride on an elephant.
8. Ride on a helicopter in Grand Canyon.
9. Watch the launch of a space shuttle.
10. Go to the Olympics or other large sports event.
11. Ride on a hot-air balloon.
12. Go skydiving.
13. Go to Antarctica.
And the last goal will make me really proud even if I don't manage to do all the above 13.
14. Go into outer space and experience weightlessness!

So far, I haven't really taken much risks. Here are the ones that I remember:

A. Got hit by a minivan and landed six yards away from the point of impact.
B. Had an argument with a muscular guy at the gym and almost got beaten up.
C. Took a dump in the female washroom, got caught by a woman and her two daughters, and casually washed my hands next to them as if nothing's wrong.

D. Shaved bald and wore a baseball cap for an entire month.
E. Talked with 2 female strangers a week (what this blog is all about).

Sometimes I worry about what will happen after I leave this world and whether people will remember me. I don't want to have any regrets, so that's why I'll try to live my life to the fullest.

Talked With 2 Men and 2 Women

As mentioned in the title, I am making progress. During these conversations, I noticed a trend. When I talked with men, I listened to what they said and was able to keep the conversation flowing for however long I wanted. The downside was that I didn't maintain much eye contact. But when I talked with women, I was quite nervous, didn't listen to them much, and often ran out of things to say. The upside was that I maintained quite a lot of eye contact.

I also made another discovery when talking with strangers. The best approach is when you have a reason to talk with them in the first place. Walking up to them and talking suddenly is more challenging and probably should be reserved for my higher-level future self. For now, the best approach is to stand/sit near some place where people don't know what they're doing. For example, in a library, I might sit next to the copier. If a woman doesn't know how to use it, I'll kindly ask if she needs some help. Another example is in the gym room. If a woman is clueless about a certain machine, I'll show her how to use it. I won't care if I'm currently doing the 9th repetition of the 3rd set of one-arm rows. Exercise can wait, women can't.

It's also possible to use the elevator trick. This works best when two women are discussing about some intriguing topic. It should be easier to express your views with them in this confined environment because the fact that the three of you are in the same elevator "proves" that you're somewhat related. A couple of days ago, two women were talking about how they hated eating sushi. I could've said that if they really had to eat sushi, then they should focus on salmon because the texture is more like meat. Anything else (like raw scallop) will just send you to the toilet. This does not, by all means, imply that you should keep riding the elevator or subway hours on end.

M1A2 Main Battle Tank

Today, I just saw someone who's missing his right hand and half his forearm. He's concealing it well because it's winter now. But how can he do this during the summer? I can imagine the pain he's been through, rejected because of his disability. This reminds me how fortunate I am to be in full health. And yet, all this time I've been living this pseudo-existence. Now's not to time to play it safe with women. I have to charge out like an M1 Abrams main battle tank.

Ikkitousen: Great Guardians

I just finished watching an anime series called Ikki Tousen: Great Guardians. It featured a cast of busty babes. Anyways, the most important message I got from one of the characters (Ryofu Housen) was this: "As long as I'm alive, even if there's only a 1 percent chance, I will fight to change my destiny with my own hands!" Hearing this, made me realize something. It made me realize I've been seeing the world in the wrong way all this time.

I've always thought that women want to trick or make fun of men for hitting on them, when actually the opposite is true. They just want to be loved much like men do. They "trick" us to see if we'll fight for them, even if there's only a 1 percent chance. I always thought that men and women are on different sides of the battlefield during dating when actually we're on the same side, just playing different roles. Maybe men are the soldiers and women are the medics, whatever, you know what I mean.

We got so influenced by society that we forgot what our purpose on earth is: To connect our mind and soul, through our bodies and the environment, with other people. Society has put all this money, power, and fame to mess with our thoughts. But I will try my best not to be confused by it from now on. I've been too heavily influenced by the average number of cars per household, the average age of marriage, and even the average penis size.

Now, I'm going to live from my heart. My purpose with women is not to sleep with dozens of women, nor to date a lot of attractive women to build up my resume, nor to have all the dating skills of a master pickup artist. It is simply to really get to know women and to find one who can share her mind with mine. Good sex is just a bonus. So I'll try my best now. If I get hurt in the process, I'll just tell myself that it's part of building up my future self. By the way, I seriously hope the Toastmasters have some busty babes.

P.S. The 2 female strangers a week still applies. I figured that almost everyone is figuring out what life is for. And I'm sure that those who've figured it out already know that life is for happiness. If I can make a stranger feel happy, even if just for a couple of minutes, then it's worth talking with them.

Second Attempt

Today, I finally talked a bit with a woman I'd been attracted to for a long time. Since it was 10 times more difficult to initiate conversation with her, I'll count this as talking to a stranger too. She had dark brown eyes, really dark brown hair, and clean teeth. To my surprise, she was actually pretty nice, at least during the conversation.

I'm not sure, but I think many women perceive me as visually intimidating. That may be one reason why some single women, who normally approach men, won't approach me. As of the moment, I can only recall less than 10 times when women have approached me. When I'm sitting alone on the subway, almost no women would sit next to me. What's with that? The whole train is flooded, but the seat next to mine is empty one-quarter of the time. Even men hesitate before they sit down. Hello! I'm just a normal person like anybody else.

I think I want to know this woman a bit more. She seems quite confident and I like that in women. People may initially assume insecure women to be nice, but actually their real personality (hidden underneath all the insecurities) may not match the original assumption.

First Attempt

This is my second post. I just talked with a woman. I started with a lame opener (where's the washroom?), but that still counts. I actually stuttered a bit, but hey, at least I tried. She had brown eyes, black hair, and (I'm sorry to say) pale yellow and crooked teeth. Not sure if she'll consider braces; they're available in transparent versions now.

New Year's Wish

This year, I made a slightly different new year's wish. Instead of hoping to get a girlfriend, I hope to talk to 2 female strangers a week. That'll be 104 female strangers during this year 2010.

Women who're on duty (e.g. waitresses and salespeople) don't count. It's okay if the stranger stares and snorts at me. What's important is that I opened my mouth first. To keep track of the women, I will record down their eye, hair, and teeth colors. So far, I've talked with none, so I still have some way to go.

My second wish is to write 3 pages (750 words) of my thriller novel every weekday during my rides on the subway. That'll be 15 pages a week; not an easy (but still manageable) task.