In My Mind

Yesterday, I made a bold move. After watching a movie with a friend, I was riding the elevator up to the podium of my apartment. When the elevator opened, I literally bumped into a female clubhouse worker, the one I had a crush on for about half a year. Her co-workers just stared at us for a couple of seconds. I just stood there too, not knowing what to say to her cool facial expression. Then she went into the elevator by herself and the door started to close. Before it could close all the way though, I stuck my forearm into the gap and the elevator jammed open. I couldn't believe I did that, but I used the momentum to walk inside and to close the door. Now it was her turn to drop her jaw. It was always tough talking with her. Knowing that this was pretty much the best chance available, I tried my best. I told her to smile more from now on if she sees me in the clubhouse because that'll make it easier for me to talk to her. I said I was attracted to her, but that I wanted to know her more too. Then she smiled and kissed me. I slid my tongue over. She didn't reject it. So I stuck it down her throat. Of course, that whole event happened in my mind.

Mistakes And Failure Are Good

I've been talking with the online girl up til now. Yesterday, I tried asking her for a second photo and she sort of freaked out, calling me a creep and other names. I was shocked, not to mention hurt, from the accusation. Finally I realized that she was afraid I'll use her photos to setup a fake account in those adult porn personals. Guess she still doesn't trust me that much. So I told her to be honest with me in the future about her concerns, because unlike women, I'm not a mind-reader. Then we continued talking about karaoke and stuff and she said she'll be looking forward to hear me sing. Man, after not singing for almost two years, I'll have to catch up quick!

This girl, I think I'm starting to care a little about her, even though she's so serious and not too funny. Last time, she told me that she was a Taurus. Although I'm not really into this kinda weird horoscope stuff, I tried looking for a horoscope book, only to be disappointed by the low stock volume of the small bookstore. Then I went home and searched for it on Wikipedia. What I'm trying to say is that she causes me to do things that I won't normally do. She makes me want to be a better person. And I guess that's a major part of what girlfriends are for. Girlfriends aren't used for showing off to people like trophies and pendants. They're there for us to share feelings with. They may leave us someday for some legitimate reason and if that happens to me, I'll be heartbroken. But that's actually a good thing.

And that's because mistakes and failures are good. They're not bad. Who said they're bad? You guessed it, our mind said it's bad. Well, think again. Imagine someone who never makes a single mistake. Yeah, there's no doubt he feels happy. But the fact that he doesn't make mistakes means he can never learn from them. And how can you improve when you never learn? He'll stay at the same level all along, while other people (who make mistakes) will learn and improve to surpass his level. So whoever said that mistakes are bad can shove it up his urinatory tract.

Oh yes, I continued talking with female strangers as always. The last one was just this afternoon, where I started talking from the elevator all the way until we parted outside the MTR station. We attended the same seminar and from her previous words with the instructor, I made a false judgement that she's too professional and picky. But as I started talking with her in the elevator, I found that she was actually pretty friendly. So for those who're planning to talk with female strangers, talk to all of them, except for smokers (5%) and really really super ugly ones (<1%). P.S. Due to a situation at home, I'll need to make more money. My preferred way is to work harder on my novel, writing 5000 words a week. I seriously hope I can achieve this. It beats having to grow old with my current job.

Talked With 2 Men and 2 Women

As mentioned in the title, I am making progress. During these conversations, I noticed a trend. When I talked with men, I listened to what they said and was able to keep the conversation flowing for however long I wanted. The downside was that I didn't maintain much eye contact. But when I talked with women, I was quite nervous, didn't listen to them much, and often ran out of things to say. The upside was that I maintained quite a lot of eye contact.

I also made another discovery when talking with strangers. The best approach is when you have a reason to talk with them in the first place. Walking up to them and talking suddenly is more challenging and probably should be reserved for my higher-level future self. For now, the best approach is to stand/sit near some place where people don't know what they're doing. For example, in a library, I might sit next to the copier. If a woman doesn't know how to use it, I'll kindly ask if she needs some help. Another example is in the gym room. If a woman is clueless about a certain machine, I'll show her how to use it. I won't care if I'm currently doing the 9th repetition of the 3rd set of one-arm rows. Exercise can wait, women can't.

It's also possible to use the elevator trick. This works best when two women are discussing about some intriguing topic. It should be easier to express your views with them in this confined environment because the fact that the three of you are in the same elevator "proves" that you're somewhat related. A couple of days ago, two women were talking about how they hated eating sushi. I could've said that if they really had to eat sushi, then they should focus on salmon because the texture is more like meat. Anything else (like raw scallop) will just send you to the toilet. This does not, by all means, imply that you should keep riding the elevator or subway hours on end.