Is Physical Attraction Important?

I finally saw some additional photos of the online girl and discovered that her looks aren't what I originally expected. I don't want to seem shallow, but shouldn't there be at least some physical attraction if I am to progress further? Or are all women the same and that the only determining factor for their looks is their skill with makeup? Part of me tells me to continue trying to date her in order to gain experience and confidence with women. But the other part of me tells me not to hurt her anymore than I already have. I stood her up once and argued with her thrice. I don't think a future inevitable breakup will do her any good. I'm not saying that I'll abandon all future contact with her. I'll continue having her as a good friend, it's just that the feeling might not be there anymore.

Butterflies In The Stomach?

I just sent out the SOS SMS. What is this feeling? Could it be butterflies in the stomach?

It's Great Being A Guy

I finally realized the super advantage of being a guy. It's that I can actively choose which girls to approach and how to approach. For a woman, all she can do is wait and hope that someone will fall for her. She's at a super disadvantage if her looks are below par. But even during the dating process, a man can call it off anytime, while the woman can only sit there, watching as the man leaves, not being able to initiate a phone call. That's not a good feeling, I think. Only if they're willing to bend the dating guidelines will they have a chance.

Being a man is great. Not only do you get a stick instead of a hole, but you can also actively control your destiny.

P.S. I think I know the reason why not many people are commenting on this blog. Because guys aren't comfortable letting other people know that they're looking into this topic. Well, if that's you, I just wanted to mention that you can post a comment anonymously. The reason why I want you guys to comment is because I don't have a counter on this page and I'm not sure if I have that many readers. If there aren't enough, I'll try to improve the quality of my content.

The Day Before Yesterday

On the day before yesterday, I screwed up big time on an MSN conversation with the online girl. I asked her if she's free to come out sometime this week. She said her schedule's packed. I thought that was some sort of polite rejection and knowing that I was rejected, I said that I didn't HAVE to meet her, that she looked like a hippo anyways. Then a volley of negative comments enraged. But the thing is... I still want to meet up with her. I'm not sure why, I just know. Now I'm comtemplating on an SOS SMS. Hope it'll work out.

Chinese New Tiger Year

This year, I went to "buy lean" for red pocket money as usual. There's a bit more money because one of my elder cousins got married. It made me remember once again that I'm single and never even went out on a date. But then I quickly remembered that getting a girlfriend is not for showing off, but to share feelings with. I'm confident that I can get a girlfriend soon, the question is if it'll happen this Tiger year.

Mistakes And Failure Are Good

I've been talking with the online girl up til now. Yesterday, I tried asking her for a second photo and she sort of freaked out, calling me a creep and other names. I was shocked, not to mention hurt, from the accusation. Finally I realized that she was afraid I'll use her photos to setup a fake account in those adult porn personals. Guess she still doesn't trust me that much. So I told her to be honest with me in the future about her concerns, because unlike women, I'm not a mind-reader. Then we continued talking about karaoke and stuff and she said she'll be looking forward to hear me sing. Man, after not singing for almost two years, I'll have to catch up quick!

This girl, I think I'm starting to care a little about her, even though she's so serious and not too funny. Last time, she told me that she was a Taurus. Although I'm not really into this kinda weird horoscope stuff, I tried looking for a horoscope book, only to be disappointed by the low stock volume of the small bookstore. Then I went home and searched for it on Wikipedia. What I'm trying to say is that she causes me to do things that I won't normally do. She makes me want to be a better person. And I guess that's a major part of what girlfriends are for. Girlfriends aren't used for showing off to people like trophies and pendants. They're there for us to share feelings with. They may leave us someday for some legitimate reason and if that happens to me, I'll be heartbroken. But that's actually a good thing.

And that's because mistakes and failures are good. They're not bad. Who said they're bad? You guessed it, our mind said it's bad. Well, think again. Imagine someone who never makes a single mistake. Yeah, there's no doubt he feels happy. But the fact that he doesn't make mistakes means he can never learn from them. And how can you improve when you never learn? He'll stay at the same level all along, while other people (who make mistakes) will learn and improve to surpass his level. So whoever said that mistakes are bad can shove it up his urinatory tract.

Oh yes, I continued talking with female strangers as always. The last one was just this afternoon, where I started talking from the elevator all the way until we parted outside the MTR station. We attended the same seminar and from her previous words with the instructor, I made a false judgement that she's too professional and picky. But as I started talking with her in the elevator, I found that she was actually pretty friendly. So for those who're planning to talk with female strangers, talk to all of them, except for smokers (5%) and really really super ugly ones (<1%). P.S. Due to a situation at home, I'll need to make more money. My preferred way is to work harder on my novel, writing 5000 words a week. I seriously hope I can achieve this. It beats having to grow old with my current job.

Back On Good Terms

After a couple days of thinking and talking with friends, I realized how much of a jerk I had always been. I always only thought of myself and forgot to care about the feelings of others. For this online date, I asked her out on the third day of MSN, then I made up a lame excuse to cancel the date, then I said we should be friends, then I accused that she was a scam and asked her out again to see if she's just an ugly fat guy. If she's really a woman, which I'm pretty sure of, then she should be pretty hurt.

Realizing this, I apologized to her the following day. I admitted on being a jerk, just like now. Even though she said she wasn't mad, I knew she was and probably cried over it (or not). It's a good thing, apologizing, because it made her feel better, and somehow I feel better too. Even though this may not work out, at least I got a new friend.

Yesterday, I watched the DVD of Bruce Willis's Surrogates. That movie was pretty disturbing, talking about the future world where almost everyone operates a mechanical version of themselves (surrogates) to interact with other surrogates. And because of this technology, everyone made their appearances perfect (ex. Tom Cruise faces, DD-cup breasts, 10-inch penises). Yes, they could "feel" through their machines too. Sick, isn't it?

It made me think about how much people tend to their appearances, when it's really the mind and spirit that counts. Actually, even now, we're imitating surrogates by wearing clothes and styling our hair. For women, they put on makeup too, some noticeably wearing masks. What's up with this world? We should throw all our clothes away, which may or may not lead to more "street-style" sex lives.